Vomit

So I woke up at 3:30 this morning to a sound that isn't very often heard in our house. The sound of vomit.

Jeremy was in the bathroom, heaving large amounts of something out of his stomach... which is gross. It was a weird feeling, because I don't think he's even thrown up over the course of our marriage. Been sick, yes. Puked, no. I didn't quite know what to do. Do I pet his back? Leave him alone? Get him water (which might just get puked right back up?) Offer him a towel? I found myself doing an awkward combination of all four... and then decided it was best to let him be alone with his stuff. I went back to bed.

He came in after awhile and said he thought it might be food poisoning (which I don't think was a possibility yesterday... he really didn't eat anything except for a pizza at midnight). But then he said (and I find this interesting) that he might be so nervous that he's making himself sick. And that I believe.

This past week it has really finally hit both of us that we are being cut from the team... and we're not sure if we're going to get drafted by anyone else. It's not fun.

We had a long talk on the way home from church about our fears for the next season (the one that is only three weeks away). My biggest fear is not related to money or comfort or a job... it's that Jeremy will be so focused on something else that he'll forget about me. That he'll pursue the Kingdom and leave me on the sidelines. That I won't be his teammate anymore, but just a cheerleader. And I don't want that. He doesn't either. But we know ourselves well enough to know that we can't start falling into that pattern, because Jeremy needs me to respect and honor him, which is hard for me to do when I feel forgotten... which is a huge part of out story and the early parts of our marriage.

I guess that I'm asking for major prayers to keep Jer and I united, loving and respecting each other, and putting each other first. Admittedly, this is hard for me to do sometimes. This is one of the big things I need God's help with, because I can easily become bitter and selfish. This next season is going to stretch us both... I just want us to be stretched together.

I'm nervous about this, and I think he is too. Nervous enough to make us sick.