My Surrogate Mom

I have been blessed.

During my thirty short years on this earth, I have had the privilege of knowing some pretty neat people.  Debee McGovern is/was one of those.  She went home to Jesus last night.  

Today I have been thinking about her impact on my life, and reflecting on some of the things that will always remind me of her. 

1. Royal Blue.  It's both the Cambridge-Isanti and Mora school color.  Debee served on our school board for 18 years and you could count on her to wear a royal blue dress to every graduation ceremony.  She wore one to mine and made sure she was the one to hand me my diploma and give me the first congratulatory hug.  She also gave me one of her royal blue dresses when I was in college because it reminded her of me.  It would be fitting if there wasn't a stitch of black at her funeral, and people only showed up in royal blue. 
2. White chocolate satin mochas.  Not just a white mocha - a white satin mocha.  I'm sure that's just what the local coffee shop called it, but she made it sound classier.  When we worked at Bob's together, I could count on at least a couple deli runs for white satin mochas during the summer.    
3. Fresh flowers - specifically lilies.  Robbie and I went to my senior prom together, and Debee did the flowers.  She used stargazer lilies as the focus.  I was the only girl at prom that had a legitimate (read: huge!) arm bouquet to carry, a spare wrist corsage, and another wrist corsage that she went a little overboard on and told me to give it to my grandma as a table centerpiece (true story!)

And then there are just those random things that I appreciate about her: 

She loved capturing photos of people doing all sorts of things, and then went the extra step of creating keepsake journals, mini scrapbooks, or even matted and shrink wrapped those photos as gifts.  There is/was always at least one surface in her house covered in some photo or scrapbook project.  She loved arranging photo shoots, too: we did one with all the girls who had ever worked at Northland, she arranged one for Clint and his buddies when they were in high school, and the last McGovern family photo is displayed near her kitchen where everyone can see it.  The fridge is plastered with photos of people she loves, and the piano is loaded with framed photos of special memories.  She knew those moments were meant to be saved. 

She was SO good at making people feel cherished and important.  For my sixteenth birthday, she gave me a silver charm bracelet, and then faithfully purchased additional charms for different milestones in my life (a watering can for working at Northland, a princess crown for homecoming, personalized engraved markers for random accomplishments, a bride charm when Jeremy and I got engaged, etc.)  Debee made me feel special.  

And she didn't take herself too seriously.  She laughed a lot.  And she said funny, honest things ALL the time.  When I first got married, she told me about her first two years with Chuck and described it in a way that only Debee could.  She told me once that she wanted me to kiss Drew 'just in case' before I got married - in case sparks flew like they do in the movies.  She would go shopping and try to hide the bags from Chuck.  She used the words 'sweetie' and 'cutie' when referring to people.  She learned Swedish and used to write me notes in it for practice.  She was just fun like that.  

I went to a random graduation party with her years ago - someone who hadn't seen her in a while asked her if I was her daughter.  She said yes without batting an eye.  And I LOVED it.  Debee was (and is) like a surrogate mom to me.  She will be missed by so many, and I'm sure there are lots and lots of people she adopted this same way - and we were the lucky ones.  

Two weeks ago, I went home to say goodbye.  I sat in the living room talking with her and other friends who had dropped by to do the same, though none of us ever said it out loud.  Even at the very end, she didn't complain that her hips hurt, that she didn't have enough strength to walk the five feet to her bed by herself, or that there was only a few strands of her blonde hair left on her head.  She didn't complain that the sun was in her eyes, that her foot was swollen or about any of the things that a normal person would be quick to take issue with.  She was a living example of Colossians 4:5 "Let your gentleness be known to all.  The Lord is near."

I got to pray with her that day; that Chuck, Drew, Robbie and Clint would know what a gift they were given in her, and that she would be able to tell them how proud she was of them and how much she loved them.  That will go down as one of the most significant prayers of my life.  

I love Debee, and I am SO glad that Jesus shared her with me.

One of those... months.

I feel incredibly frustrated and crabby lately.  I'm certain it's because I currently have no margin in my life, and when I do find an hour before bed free I end up watching an episode of 24 with Jeremy (as a date... for real). 

Last night was at least fun - I invited another couple over for dinner.  Having them over gave me the motivation to clean up the living room, kitchen and dining room, so I at least felt decent about some things before I fell asleep.  They have a a little girl who is a little older than Peter, so the kids entertained themselves while we ate BLTs, brownies and ice cream.  That also meant they were out the door around 8 PM to tuck her in to bed, so I got quality time with Stinky Pete, too.

Part of my crabbiness is stemming from work, because I've been given added responsibilites (that's what you get when you're a good employee, I guess) but that also means I've got more to do.  And I don't really want more to do, because I want to be able to leave early on Fridays and not worry about finishing things so I don't have to do them on Monday. 

Blargh.

Really?

So. It's been awhile. There are a million things to write about. Peter. Church. School. Marriage. But what's rolling through my head right now is just a comment made by someone who checked out MainStreet last week and emailed Jeremy letting him know that our church will not become their church home because it's 'too casual'. (Full disclosure - they also live like a half hour away, so they are also looking for something 'closer to home', which I totally get.)

'Too casual'? Maybe. I have worn jeans every single Sunday so far, but I think that's primarily been driven by unshaven legs and trying to get both myself and Pete dressed and out the door on time. Although I don't think they meant 'casual' in the dress code sense. If I was an outsider, I might think MainStreet is a bit too casual, too, but more from what I'm coming to think of as a style of 'abundant grace'. Jer mentioned that we have more liturgical elements than, say, the other new church down the street (scripture reading, etc.) so the service isn't exactly 'casual' in a biblical sense. However, our attitude regarding performance (read: presentation) might be.

I can't think of a Sunday yet that has been completely polished, with all people involved hitting their transitions at just the right moment, announcements and such being totally engaging and fun, or Jeremy not forgetting to mention something like prayer partners at the end of the service. The week this couple visited, Jer jumped ahead of the service order printed in the bulletin, only to realize it after a minute and backtrack. So... if someone is/was looking for a completely perfectly polished service, they probably won't find it at MainStreet (at least... not yet). I can excuse these blips because I know one of our core values is abundant grace. I would much rather (I think) attend a church that can laugh at itself when things don't go quite-so-right than attend one that gets high-strung and tense when a microphone stops working. All that to say, though, I wouldn't want to go somewhere that always felt like the service was thrown together last minute and was completely unorganized...

What a crazy line to walk between being a church that is too performance driven and/or too sloppy. My prayer is that we will get it just right for what we want to be at MainStreet. I hope that we can be a church that has high standards, but that also practices grace. And if that means we seem 'too casual' to some, I think I'm okay with that.

Sometimes Things Stink

Last night was one of those wonderfully awkward nights that I both loved and hated.

We got some stinky news from a dear friend who is being called elsewhere (as in not MainStreet). It left both Jer and I sort of shell shocked (though we saw it coming) and feeling like we're not enough. And then we have to remind ourselves that we don't have to be enough because God is enough. And He's building this church, and He's brought people into and out of this journey before. But it still stinks. Jeremy said our church planting director told him to expect that we will probably turn over every person on our team before the church really starts, so it's at least comforting to know that it's not just us that have gone through this.

And from this news to our new LifeGroup kickoff... only to have everyone we invited not show up. Argh. BUT. Jer and I got to have dinner with our host couple and hear their story... Cliff and Ruby have been married for 61 years. It was fun to sit back and listen to people who have gone before us and to hear their journey with the Lord and with the church. AND... Ruby has a history of praying things into fruition. Those stories were cool to hear.

Growing Fast

This is Peter at 11 weeks old. He has outgrown all of his 3 month clothing. Jer and I assumed we would have a tall baby, but this is nuts. He is growing fast, and he is healthy. We are grateful.

I pray that MainStreet would grow fast and healthy, too.

Baby Pete, meet Baby Church.

MainStreet Covenant is a real church!
Jer and I have always thought that, but now we look more like a 'real' church according to American standards. We had our first Sunday morning preview service in September, and are now one week away from our second one!
There were 147 people - which includes tiny people like Peter - that joined together to break new ground in Mound on September 18th. God showed up and took care of all the silly things for us, and we had fun watching person after person come through the door. It was a little overwhelming, but then again, we've been saying that God will build his church and it really has nothing to do with us. There were people there we've never met before, so that was really fun to see. According to church planting 'rules', at least 50% of your church body should be from new contacts. Jer and I were talking afterwards, and I think of the 147 people there, we only knew 20 or 30 of them when we said yes to this last spring. God is building this church.
I am excited.
I am especially excited to see how Baby Pete and Baby MainStreet grow up together.

Meet Pete

This is our son.

Peter Bjorn Berg
Born July 18th, 2011 @ 4:54 PM
8 pounds, 21 1/2 inches

It's been awhile!

I have to apologize for my absence from blogging... this spring I finished up two classes for my master's program, and then jumped into another one this summer. It ends two weeks after the Fish is due. (Needless to say, I'm not quite sure how that will work yet!) We also wrapped up meeting with our LifeGroup for the spring, but replaced that with a Dave Ramsey class every Wednesday - our buddy Graham will be taking that over, so I may find a free night to myself soon! We launched a Backyard Bible Study on the Sermon on the Mount last Sunday and had 16 people in our backyard. I realized I really like hanging out with these MainStreet people, so that was good.

And now Jer and I find ourselves staring at parenthood from about five weeks out (although I'm sort of expecting to have a little bit more time!) It's crazy to think about. Pretty soon there will be one more Berg body in our house. Jer and I are trying to sneak in whatever free time we have together and appreciate it. That usually happens around 10:30 PM until I NEED to fall asleep. Jeremy plays guitar for the baby, makes up poems, and we play Scrabble on his iPhone. Last night I got to pray for our marriage, for parenthood, and for God's mission in Mound and how that may affect our family. It's pretty fun to think about when we actually (well... 'I' actually) take time to reflect on it. We have been blessed.

Should I feel bad being excited about this?

So... sometimes God takes things that are not-so-awesome and uses them as something awesome for someone else.

I think of Jeremy's cousin Scott and his wife Amanda who lost their precious little daughter two weeks ago and decided to donate her organs to other babies in need. Eight month old Eden was waiting for new lungs herself when God welcomed her home. Scott and Amanda took their not-so-awesome situation and turned it into a glorious day for many other parents. May they be richly rewarded for that decision.

Well, MainStreet is on the 'awesome' receiving end of one of these types of things. A few weeks ago, another Covenant church plant decided to close shop after their planting pastor stepped down. This church has been around for almost 4 years. That it's closing is not so awesome. But.

Working like the kingdom does, Jeremy got an email that MainStreet gets first dibs at their equipment... sound stuff, kids stuff, hospitality stuff... and we don't have to pay for it. Jer and I are headed over to pick up some of this stuff in about an hour. I have no idea what's included, and I'm sad for the church that closed.

But oh man am I excited about this unexpected blessing.

Small Begets Big...

More from the Divine Commodity:

In the economy of God's kingdom, big does not beget big. It's precisely the opposite. The overwhelming message of Jesus' life and teaching is that small begets big. Consider: God's plan to redeem creation (big) is achieved through his incarnation as an impoverished baby (small). Jesus feeds thousands on a hillside (big) with just a few loaves and fishes (small). Christ seeks to make disciples of all nations (big) but starts with a handful of fisherman (small).

Silence, prayer, love, friendship, fasting , hospitality... these are tiny and seemingly inconsequential mustard seeds that, when fully grow, become the largest plant in the garden.

I think the vision of MainStreet is big, but it is starting with a small group of committed people. Crazy what Jesus can do!

And Just for Fun, The Fish.

Hey! This is our kid!

And a Thought on Community...

More from The Divine Commodity:

Henri Nouwen once observed, "Community is the place where the person you least want to live with always lives." When we abandon ship because it holds people we don't like, we also abandon community.

More thoughts on that later...

A Few Thoughts on the Church...

Jeremy was given the book The Divine Commodity by our friend Joe. In it, Skye Jethani writes about the loss of imagination in the church, and how we've fallen prey to Consumer Christianity. There are SO many good thoughts in this book, and I feel like they're super applicable to our situation - especially in light of the church plant. Anyways... on to one of my favorite passages from the book:

"...What impacted a person's spiritual growth most were personal Bible reading, prayer, meditation, a meaningful relationship with a friend or mentor, and serving others... All of these practices are relationship-focused... It is the community of Jesus' followers on earth - men, women, and children filled with God's Spirit, living in communion with Him, one another, and the world. It is a spiritual and relational entity. And this church is critical to the advancement of God's mission in the world and an essential component of our spiritual formation.

In the New Testament we see the earliest Christians organizing their communities to provide for the poor, ensure proper instruction, and extend formative and corrective discipline. Every relational community, like a family, needs structure. But the goal of any structure should be strengthening, not replacing, human relationships which are the medium God uses to carry out his transforming work. The Holy Spirit inhabits human beings, not institutions...

The goal should not be abandoning one structure in favor of another, but rather fostering meaningful human relationships through which real ministry happens...

Beginning on the smallest scale, this means relearning the lost art of friendship."

It's swimming...

I think it's funny how God shows up at just the right time in just the right way to let us know He's in control.

I started classes again, so now there are a few days each week I leave the house at 6:30 in the morning and walk back through the door around 10 PM. Yesterday was one of those days. Jer had spent the whole day meeting with people, but returned to an empty house.

When I got home, he was in a funk, mostly about 'momentum', but also about feeling lonely. And I don't like it when Jeremy is in a funk... I don't deal well with sadness. But I was completely absorbed by the fact I hadn't been home yet (needed to unload groceries, unpack my garbage, take my bath...) He decided that to spend time together, he would clean the bathroom while I did my thing so we could talk (best husband ever!)

But he was still pretty low when I was ready to go to bed. And then... the kid kicked me. Or flipped over. Or did something to say 'Hey! I'm here too!' It was a pretty cool moment in our house - the first time I was really aware there was something inside me. Jer and I have both decided that God gave us this baby as a reason to spend more time together. And as a way to not be consumed by church stuff.

It totally worked last night. So thanks, God.

Well. Huh.

So it's been awhile...

In the last two months, Jer and I found out we're having a kid. AND the church reached its funding goal (yay). So last week Jeremy got paid for the first time. And now I find myself drifting off into daydreams of how much we will tithe to the new church and how much we can hide away to send this kid to college someday. Or retire. Or whatever. Because for the last 6 months we have been living on one salary and a couple of generous gifts from friends. Having 2 paychecks again makes me feel like we are really, really rich.

There are two things you should know about my money habits: 1) I love saving money and hiding it away. Love having a safety net for those just-in-case moments. 2) One of my spiritual gifts is giving. I haven't met too many other 20-somethings who like writing out checks to charitable organizations. And these two things don't always line up together so well.

So here's where my mind has been going: in 3 years, we will need to become a self-sustaining church, bringing in money to do ministry and hopefully pay Jeremy the same salary that's set right now. Quite frankly, the Berg's don't really need everything he's being paid because we've learned how to live on less. Not that it's been fun, but we can do it. Our church planting director told us to just tithe back whatever is in excess, which I'm totally cool with.

Right now are launch team hovers around 30 people, but about 80% of those are college kids or young adults. Meaning: not a lot of extra funds. And a lot of young people haven't established budgets or spending habits that include regular tithing. We think throwing $20 into the basket every couple of weeks is good enough. So how can Jer and I model healthy giving habits? When I think about the amount that we are planning to tithe each month, it sounds GIANT to me. But that's mostly because we will be giving from a 2 income family, and I'm used to that anymore. I am also excited to trust God with that, though. It's totally something we can work into our life.

And then there's this kid thing. How do you even know what that will cost? Will I want to go back to work once it's here? If we return to a one income family, can we still tithe the same amount (that would be sacrificial for sure!) MainStreet will need money, and if it's not there, Jeremy won't get paid. And do we keep moving towards the cafe? And will that even help at all or will it become a financial burden? Oh the questions! And wrapped up in this is our desire to share our new excess with our friends in need... bump up our monthly giving to a few of our missionary friends and add a couple others to the list (not kidding - this stuff brings me joy!) But will we set expectations for them with what we give, and what happens if I quite my job and we drop it back down?

I think I'm more aware of this stuff than ever because the last 6 months have made us rely on God for our financial needs each month... 3 times completely and totally needed the gifts our friends gave. And I want to be that kind of friend for others. That, and we've had to raise the church funding ourselves. (I should really say Jeremy did this... I wasn't much of a help). We know what it's like to be on the other side of the fence now.

Anyways... this was a really unconnected post, but that's what's been running through my head this week. How do we live generously but still within our means?

A.W. Tozer

So I'm not one to sit and read theological books. I'm more of a British-Chick-Lit fan. But yesterday I picked up a copy of The Counselor by A.W. Tozer and started reading. Only 4 pages in, I knew I was going to love the book.

If any church is to be a church of Christ, the living, organic member of that redeemed Body of which Christ is the Head, then its teachers and its members must strive earnestly and sacrificially with constant prayer...

The Christian Church ought to be useful to the whole community. A Spirit-filled congregation is useful in the neighborhood.

I would like to see a church become so godly, so Spirit-filled that it would have a spiritual influence on all of the churches in the entire area.

God is funny sometimes.

So yesterday I posted about Jeremy providing by substitute teaching... and today God provided a job for him. Yay. I love God's sense of humor though. Case in point: Jer's not a huge fan of working in elementary schools (high schoolers are more his thing). And actually teaching something is a bit of a stretch too.

Text message exchange between us this morning:

Jer: Ugh. Kindergarten + 1st grade literacy intervention groups all day! Momma Beth would be proud.
Jer: Even the Apostle Paul didn't sacrifice this much! :)
Jer: Lesson plans: "supplement any phonemic awareness activities or letter sound recognition that you feel will be helpful." Shake What?!
Me: Hahaha.
Jer: I'm not laughing.


I, personally, think this is hilarious. I love that while church planting is outside of a normal person's comfort zone, stepping into an elementary school room is the way God asks Jer to break himself. Funny, funny.

Learning to do it together.

Jeremy and I are doing really well.

But there is one aspect of our marriage that isn't so easy lately and I'm not sure why or how it's become such a hot topic. Well... I guess it's the same issue that lots of marriages break up over (and we are by no means anywhere near that point)... but it's still not fun. It's talking about money and paying the bills.

Here's why this topic is a hard one for us: Jeremy is a full time pastor. A full time church planting pastor. A full time pastor that doesn't get paid for any of the work he's doing (at least not yet). So he's been delivering papers (yuck) to help with the bills. Right now he's transitioning into substitute teaching to help out. He's sacrificing a lot of time and creating a crazy schedule to help out.

But as a wife, and as the one who writes out the checks for our monthly bills and watches the bank balances and all that other stuff... I know that we can't live on my salary alone. And I'm willing to work, don't get me wrong, but I don't/can't bring in enough to give us enough breathing room so that Jeremy can give up the other stuff to concentrate on the church.

And he is tired. And he wants a break. And I feel awful asking him to take sub jobs when they are available because I know if he doesn't, and there aren't any available jobs the next day... we're stuck. I want him to be able to take a day off and not feel guilty. But somehow asking him to use his Saturdays for Sabbath that doesn't reconcile...

I don't like being in this spot. I would like to be a fully funded church plant as much as he would, but that's not where we're at right now and sometimes God has us endure the tough stuff to receive the blessings (thinking of Job, here...)

So we have to learn how to endure this season together so we can come out on the other side together. It's not a me thing. It's not a him thing. It's an 'us' thing, and we need to learn how to talk about it freely and openly. Without guilt and without shame.

Yep. Keep Walking.

From my brother-in-law after sending an email related to my last post:

I don’t know why I thought of this, but I feel like the Holy Spirit might have given me this picture for you guys. It’s the scene from Braveheart where William Wallace asks Robert the Bruce to unite the clans because it’s the only way they’re going to defeat the English. And eventually, after taking a winding path, he did. He did. And they won their freedom.

I feel like God might be saying that you guys might just be Mound’s Robert the Bruce. If there’s one thing missing in the church, it’s unity. And if you can, in any way, help the church unite with God, itself and the people it’s trying to reach, that’s no small task.

I keep having Joshua 1:9 run through my head for you guys too: “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go."

Keep walking towards...

Yesterday was a bit of a weird day. We received news of yet another fully funded, bright and shiny church transplant that could potentially be coming to Mound. River Valley launched in August, this new one is aiming for sometime in 2011.

Jeremy met with the planting pastor and told him about all the great spaces in Mound that would be ideal for them. And then it hit us: with other Jesus-focused attractional churches in this town, is MainStreet really needed? After about 4 minutes of doubt, the answer came back as a resounding 'Yes!' Part of that comes from what our friend Rob shared in our MainStreet Voices video: we don't want to be just another church. We want to be a church that unites all churches. We can already see how that is happening, too.

The vision God gave us wasn't to start another Sunday morning community. It was to be in the marketplace daily. To serve, to love, to care, and to draw people to Jesus everyday. People outside the church walls.

And so it was my husband yesterday, not me, who realized that the cafe' is really the best way to be in intentional relationships and community all week long. And not just for our launch team, not just for our church, but to create relationships by creating space for everyone to honor Him.