Returning to Faith

Yesterday was the first time Jeremy and I have been back to Faith since the end of May. It seemed for us like the right amount of time to allow everyone (myself included) enough space to move into this new season. It was also aptly timed by the Berg's to coincide with the All Church Picnic (aka... extended visiting time with food!)

I didn't realize it would be as hard as it was for me. It was wonderful, but it was hard. The whole service I sat and tried not to think about the fact that we were no longer our students' youth pastors, but merely two people who've played a role in their lives and who love them lots. I keep trying to remind myself with the new church there will be another bunch of kids to love, but I tend to dwell on the fact that they will be different kids. Argh.

The new youth coordinator was there (the quasi-replacement of Jeremy). We met her briefly before heading out to the picnic, where I found myself avoiding her, which I'm not proud of (I'm still working on admitting that this season has come... working on it though). So today I sent her an email, sharing my thoughts and what I realized as soon as I met her and what God reaffirmed in the car as we drove home:

"...Since Jeremy and I got the news about his position being cut, I started praying that the Lord would provide someone in our place that would love our students and that they would be well taken care of. This was (and is) the single biggest thing I have ever had to trust God with, and it wasn't/isn't very fun for me. Yesterday I realized that He answered my prayers with you, and as hard as it is for me to let our kids go I know you are the one that I was praying for. Thank you for the relationships that you have started to form, the ones that are yet to come, and for the way that you will show these kids what it means to love Jesus. I am SO glad you are there. I will be praying for you as you leave on the missions trip, getting to know and serve alongside our goofy kids and forming new wonderful friendships. You will have so much fun."

And so here I sit, still shedding tears at this new season, some happy, some sad, some for seemingly no reason. But I am glad we returned to Faith yesterday. And I am glad that God answers prayers. Oh man.