Name tags, please.

Last night was the first official gathering for MainStreet Covenant, and it was great. Only a few awkward moments while some people were stretched well beyond their social comfort zones, but it was a very good night.

We had a crazy cross section of the people in our lives gather in our backyard for a BBQ. Some of them knew each other, some didn't... and so we used the great ice breaking practice of name tags. For two hours, we talked, ate, and shared what we want to be about as a new church.

At the end of the gathering, we asked for commitments from those who are ready to take the next steps... and we are now the proud parents of a baby launch team for this baby church!

Exciting, exciting!

MainStreet Covenant

Jeremy and I are moving forward with the church plant - the last 6 weeks have been spent refining the vision, sharing the dream, inviting people to join us in prayer, and trying to spread the news. We're having our first 'official' gathering July 18th (feel free to pray for us!)

Jeremy has created a website - take a peek:

www.MainStreetCovenant.org

Returning to Faith

Yesterday was the first time Jeremy and I have been back to Faith since the end of May. It seemed for us like the right amount of time to allow everyone (myself included) enough space to move into this new season. It was also aptly timed by the Berg's to coincide with the All Church Picnic (aka... extended visiting time with food!)

I didn't realize it would be as hard as it was for me. It was wonderful, but it was hard. The whole service I sat and tried not to think about the fact that we were no longer our students' youth pastors, but merely two people who've played a role in their lives and who love them lots. I keep trying to remind myself with the new church there will be another bunch of kids to love, but I tend to dwell on the fact that they will be different kids. Argh.

The new youth coordinator was there (the quasi-replacement of Jeremy). We met her briefly before heading out to the picnic, where I found myself avoiding her, which I'm not proud of (I'm still working on admitting that this season has come... working on it though). So today I sent her an email, sharing my thoughts and what I realized as soon as I met her and what God reaffirmed in the car as we drove home:

"...Since Jeremy and I got the news about his position being cut, I started praying that the Lord would provide someone in our place that would love our students and that they would be well taken care of. This was (and is) the single biggest thing I have ever had to trust God with, and it wasn't/isn't very fun for me. Yesterday I realized that He answered my prayers with you, and as hard as it is for me to let our kids go I know you are the one that I was praying for. Thank you for the relationships that you have started to form, the ones that are yet to come, and for the way that you will show these kids what it means to love Jesus. I am SO glad you are there. I will be praying for you as you leave on the missions trip, getting to know and serve alongside our goofy kids and forming new wonderful friendships. You will have so much fun."

And so here I sit, still shedding tears at this new season, some happy, some sad, some for seemingly no reason. But I am glad we returned to Faith yesterday. And I am glad that God answers prayers. Oh man.

Long Overdue

I went to the library last week to check out some sweet reading material for Memorial Day weekend. That got me thinking about due dates and related things (can I really read four books that fast?) And I realized that my latest blog post is long overdue, so it's time to get to it. The last one (I love my husband) was typed the morning we had to share with Faith what we will be doing next. Today, 'next' is 'now' and that's why this post is long overdue, much like my library book will be if I don't finish reading them.

What an awful, wonderful day May 16th was. Awful because it was our official 'goodbye' and wonderful because we got to celebrate it with so many wonderful people and felt very affirmed from both our season at Faith and what God is calling us to next. We had to share in both services what is before us... I was going to write about that in the last post, but got side tracked during a discussion with Jer on how the first service went and what to tweak for the second service.

So you may be asking... what is next? I realize I haven't actually articulated it in a post yet, so here's the quick and dirty summary: Jeremy and I are pursuing planting a non-traditional church in Mound. Yep. Funny how God works. When I started this blog, we had been invited into the Storm church plant, which we are not pursuing. But through a series of divinely orchestrated events, God brought us to a place where we both feel completely and totally called to plant a church in Mound.

Sunday Mornings

I love my husband.

Vomit

So I woke up at 3:30 this morning to a sound that isn't very often heard in our house. The sound of vomit.

Jeremy was in the bathroom, heaving large amounts of something out of his stomach... which is gross. It was a weird feeling, because I don't think he's even thrown up over the course of our marriage. Been sick, yes. Puked, no. I didn't quite know what to do. Do I pet his back? Leave him alone? Get him water (which might just get puked right back up?) Offer him a towel? I found myself doing an awkward combination of all four... and then decided it was best to let him be alone with his stuff. I went back to bed.

He came in after awhile and said he thought it might be food poisoning (which I don't think was a possibility yesterday... he really didn't eat anything except for a pizza at midnight). But then he said (and I find this interesting) that he might be so nervous that he's making himself sick. And that I believe.

This past week it has really finally hit both of us that we are being cut from the team... and we're not sure if we're going to get drafted by anyone else. It's not fun.

We had a long talk on the way home from church about our fears for the next season (the one that is only three weeks away). My biggest fear is not related to money or comfort or a job... it's that Jeremy will be so focused on something else that he'll forget about me. That he'll pursue the Kingdom and leave me on the sidelines. That I won't be his teammate anymore, but just a cheerleader. And I don't want that. He doesn't either. But we know ourselves well enough to know that we can't start falling into that pattern, because Jeremy needs me to respect and honor him, which is hard for me to do when I feel forgotten... which is a huge part of out story and the early parts of our marriage.

I guess that I'm asking for major prayers to keep Jer and I united, loving and respecting each other, and putting each other first. Admittedly, this is hard for me to do sometimes. This is one of the big things I need God's help with, because I can easily become bitter and selfish. This next season is going to stretch us both... I just want us to be stretched together.

I'm nervous about this, and I think he is too. Nervous enough to make us sick.

Three weeks

I'm sitting in Jeremy's office on a Sunday morning. I'm trying to avoid thinking, so I've clipped some coupons, printed off some stuff for the Senior Banquet, filled out a reference form for one of my girls, chatted with a few folks... everything I can think of to do except think.

I don't like the idea of the next three weeks. In the next three weeks I have to get this awful project done at work that I have zero motivation for, write three papers on topics that I don't care about, study for a final that I don't want to take, and say goodbye for real to kids that I don't want to say goodbye to.

And part of it, I think, is that these next three weeks bring us to that point where we will actually, truly have to trust the Father. We have to figure out - for real - what the next season looks like because it will be the next season. And I'm not sure if I'm ready.

I'm scared. I'm nervous. I'm excited. But man... three weeks and then it's really that time.